Home Alone...

Hello All,
It has been quite awhile since the last post, so hopefully we can make up for lost time by filling you in on what you may have missed this past month or so. Well, this past weekend was the first time that I (des) was away from Ra overnight. I had to go to a retreat for the department I work for at Cal Poly, Pomona. So I was gone for most of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday which literally broke my heart. Daddy was in charge!!! I was only about an hour away, but it felt like I was across the country. Hasan was nervous about the upcoming weekend. I was just sad to be away. I made sure to bring my breast pump with me and I made the goodbyes short because I knew that I would break down (and I did). Ra was a little champ and just smiled as Hasan put him in the car to take him to daycare. Speaking of daycare, mommy cried like an idiot when she dropped Ra off for his first day. I was told that he did great all day. I couldn't say the same. I made sure not to put on any makeup (which was a smart idea) because I cried all the way to Cal Poly. Well, back to the story. I made sure to leave an email with instructions/suggestions for daddy, but I had full confidence that he would do just fine. The only thing I felt bad about was that Hasan had to do his first night feeding by himself (before this past weekend, I took care of all the nighttime feedings because it was easier for me to do it because I was/am breastfeeding). RaKhem started showing signs of illness prior to me leaving (runny nose and fussiness). But it seemed to escalate quickly over the weekend, so now Hasan had to deal with a sick Ra instead of a healthy one. At first it was runny noses and congestion and then it escalated to coughing and vomiting. Daddy, although stressed and worried, handled it like a champ. He called me on my cell when he had questions and I called him at every break I had. Although I enjoyed the retreat (because it gave me a chance to get to know my co-workers and the students I work with) I regretted leaving Ra and Hasan during Ra's first true illness. I mean, he has felt bad before (when he was teething) but it was nothing like this. The weekend seemed to crawl by because I was so focused on what was happening at home. Well, I stayed diligent about pumping every chance that I could, which ended up being a good thing, because I was able to build up enough to hold RaKhem in case I had to be away for a short time.
Sunday finally came, but I still had a full morning of activities left to complete for the retreat. I had called Hasan and he had said that Ra was up the majority of the night (so he was exhausted). He let me know that Imani was coming over, so I felt cool at the thought of Hasan having some help dealing with Ra until I returned...then I could relieve Hasan of Ra for awhile so he could get some rest. Some of you may be mad at my confession, but I never sped on the freeway so much trying to get home before this weekend. I was naively under the assumption that I would have two nights of uninterrupted sleep and I would be nice and rested upon my return. Boy, was I wrong! I never got to bed before midnight (due to hanging out with my co-workers) and I had to get up just as often to pump for RaKhem. Even when I finally got to sleep, I was worried at what was going on with Hasan and Ra at home.
Overall, I was never so happy to be home (despite Ra's condition). It just didn't feel natural for me to be away from my family for so long. Now, having a day with the girls (or just with myself) is another story, but at the end of the night I want to be home!!!
Until next time...

Peace & Luv,
des, hasan & ra